Chapter 5
GROOMING AND ACCESSORIZING
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52. IS GROOMING ONLY FOR POODLES43 AND OTHER FROU-FROU DOGS?
Definitely not. These procedures, key to your dog’s health and well-being, shouldn’t be confused with fancy hairdos. If the word grooming sounds too metrosexual, think of it in automotive terms: body work (maintenance of the overall exterior, or coat) and detailing (focusing on the smaller but essential parts like feet, ears, eyes, and teeth).
53. DO I HAVE TO GO TO A PROFESSIONAL GROOMER OR CAN I GROOM MY DOG MYSELF?
It depends on the type of dog you have, the way you’d like her to look, your income, and the steadiness of your hands with clippers for hair and nails. Most people let a groomer take care of some things and do others themselves.
I have no problem, for example, brushing and bathing Frankie and giving him impromptu haircuts, but he’s small—which means resistance is futile—and his fine, wavy hair lends itself to the tousled Benji look. Expressing his anal sacs and trimming his toenails? No, thank you.
At a minimum, though, you should brush your dog regularly, the better to stimulate the skin and allow natural oils to circulate. Brushing or combing sessions are also an opportunity to peer at your dog’s pelt and, while you’re there, check out her ears, eyes, and teeth. Mats (as matted hair is known) and knots can cause skin irritations and, eventually, infections. If you don’t pay attention, fungi and insects—and, in very large dogs, squirrels and small children—may take up residence in tangled hair. So keep up with regular body-monitoring and hair care before problems become severe, painful, and costly to resolve.
The best time to get your dog accustomed to brushing and clipping is during puppyhood, but if you adopt an adult dog who isn’t used to being groomed, go slowly, introducing different procedures one at a time and associating each with treats and praise. Many dogs have sensitive areas, especially their paws—what’s with that, anyway?—so tread particularly carefully in those places.
If you’re trying to decide just how hands-on you want to get, pick up a comprehensive guide like the Everything Dog Grooming Book by Sandy Blackburn or a demonstration video.
54. DO I NEED SPECIAL EQUIPMENT TO TAKE CARE OF MY DOG’S COAT?
To a certain degree, yes. But it doesn’t have to be expensive. Most of the required hair rakes, combs, and brushes cost less than $10. Even with clippers, which are pricier, there’s a point of diminishing returns. If you don’t invest about $250 or $300 for a sharp, smooth-cutting version, you’re likely to give your dog a hairdo that borders on animal abuse (or at least fashion victimhood). But high-status, high-tech clippers that run as high as $650 won’t produce better results; in less-than-skilled hands, their cuts can still be unkind. The good news for anyone put off by the term grooming: some of the equipment is very macho sounding—for example, the FURminator, which many vets recommend.
Each type of coat requires a different set of tools—and a different frequency of use. And mixed breeds may have hair44 that doesn’t follow any strict rules for care. The following is just a rough guide of what to expect, going from highest to lowest maintenance.
LONG-COATED
These breeds, which include Afghans, Maltese, and Yorkies—essentially, all the ones that look like trotting mops at dog shows—and several types of spaniels, require constant attention because their fine, cottony hair gets matted and tangled easily. Ideally, you should run a fine-tooth metal comb through your dog’s hair every day, even if it’s just a quick sweep. Using a wire slicker brush on the hair a few times a week is also recommended, as is seeing a groomer every other month.
DOUBLE-COATED
These furry and hairy pups, which include Pomeranians, Shelties, Huskies, Collies, and Akitas, may fool you: their coats can look fluffy and neat but hide a matted mess underneath. That’s why you have to go below the surface to the undercoat, using tools like a grooming rake or the aforementioned FURMINATOR, a blade tool. You should brush weekly, at least, and visit a groomer every three months. Not only is this a good plan for your dog, but it’ll help with the housekeeping (see the following question regarding shedding).
Note: One of the reasons that both long-haired and double-coated dogs need to be brushed, combed, and/or raked regularly is that you don’t want their coats to get to the point where they need to be shaved off entirely. Coats don’t always grow back properly, so your dog may end up with endless bad hair days. Worse, while waiting for her body-cover to reappear, your pup may suffer from sunburn, windburn, and insect bites—not to mention the itchiness and irritation of prickly hairs. Short haircuts are fine for warm weather but don’t overdo the clip-jobs.
CURLY/WAVY
Caring for this type of coat can range from the simple brush-and-trims I give Frankie, whose hair is not only wispy but naturally short (it stops growing beyond an inch or so), to the constant vigilance required for poodles and other water dogs with thick, curly mops that grow long and wild if not kept in check. On the plus side, these dogs have only one coat, so what you see is what you get. Brushing with a pin or slicker brush, raking, and then combing carefully usually takes care of the preliminaries, to be followed by clipping as straightforward or fancy as you like.
SHORT-COATED
These trim-haired pups, among them, Boxers, Pugs, Pit Bulls, and dogs with giveaway names like German Short-Haired Pointers, require only a rubber mitt or coarse washcloth for coat care, which is more like a rubdown—more good news for the macho—than a hairdressing session.
55. WILL TAKING REGULAR CARE OF MY DOG’S HAIR PREVENT SHEDDING?
No. Shedding is a natural, ongoing process for dogs, just as it is for humans. As anyone who’s ever worn a black sweater or jacket can attest, regular brushing and combing won’t prevent a bit of hair divestment. But some dogs, like some people (say, males of a certain age), shed more than others. The double-coated breeds are the worst offenders; many send forth so much hair that they practically create an alternative dog,45 giving rise to the expression “blowing coat.”
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The only consolation is that this mass exodus of hair is seasonal, and therefore predictable. Increases in daylight and warmth in spring signal certain canine brains to release hormones that spur the dogs’ undercoat to grow and push off their topcoats. A similar, though somewhat less dramatic, version of this process occurs in fall, when the pups know they need to grow a new winter coat (unlike kids who always require back-to-school wear, at least dogs do it themselves and never demand designer labels).
A few things can interfere with regular shedding. If you keep a dog who’s genetically programmed to shed seasonally indoors most of the time, he may not register natural changes in temperature and light and therefore shed year-round. Copiously. Which proves it’s a bad idea to mess with Mother Nature. Using human shampoo on your dog can dry her skin, and even dog shampoos with perfumes that are not from natural sources may result in hypersensitivity—additional causes of shedding. Excitement and stress can trigger hair-loss hormones, too (if you can’t get your dog to meditate, consider Doga). In rare cases, excessive shedding may be a symptom of a health problem, from a food allergy to a thyroid imbalance. If your dog isn’t the shedding sort or if the off-season hair loss seems excessive, check with your vet.
Still, if shedding can’t be prevented through grooming, it can be managed by it. It’s far better to have hairs concentrated on a brush or on a newspaper than randomly faux-carpeting your floor or creating furry throws for your couch. You can entrap large swathes of your dog’s coat with a rake or deshedding tool, even—or especially—during her molting season.
There’s always the vacuuming fallback. See Chapter 9 for details.
56. WHAT DO I NEED TO KNOW ABOUT WASHING MY DOG?
First, I’d like to address the question of who benefits from a dog washing. I’ve read that dogs love being clean. Ha. If they’re so keen on personal hygiene, why do dogs persist in rolling around on bird carcasses? Why do they resist our efforts to wash them, and show no interest in washing themselves (licking their privates doesn’t count)?
If they really wanted to be clean, they would be cats.
Brushing and other types of waterless—aside from a little spritzing with conditioner—grooming generally suffice to distribute oils, prevent skin irritations, and remove bugs. In short: the prime reason to subject your pup to full body immersion with a soap product is that you don’t want her to stink.
Which is understandable. Dogs tend to invade your personal space, and even the most malodorous don’t take hints or even direct instruction about bathing. But not all dogs smell bad. Short-haired dogs and lap dogs, for example, need fewer baths than long-haired breeds who enjoy romping outside in disgusting debris, or than retrievers and other pups with oily, water-repelling coats that get, well, rancid.
So bathe your dog regularly if you like—with a few caveats, noted later. Just don’t delude yourself that you’re doing it to make her happy.
LOCATION
Bathing is, at best, a messy process. The larger the dog and the more unwilling she is to get wet, the messier it will be. To avoid shampoo residue from remaining in your dog’s fur and drying her skin, you need sufficient space and water pressure for a proper rinsing. A small indoor plastic tub won’t cut it.
Some people have enough room and enough disposable income to build separate washing and rinsing bays for their dogs. Others manage to lure their pups into a shower, fit them into a sink with a showerhead attachment, or hose them down in a backyard. A lot of pet stores now have self-service bathing stations, and many cities even have dedicated dog washes (the one in my neighborhood is called Dirty Dawgs).
Wherever you decide to shampoo your dog, remember the rinse cycle is key. Be aware, too, that your dog will shake herself vigorously after these ablutions. No matter how well you’ve toweled her, flying water will be involved.
PREPARATION
Assuming you’re doing this at home, lay out the shampoo—don’t forget that the human variety can cause doggie dandruff and other skin irritations—and old towels in advance.
Have two or three towels available, lest you end up even wetter than you’re likely to be anyway. Here’s a key to the proper size for your needs:
073Hand or bar towels—teacup breeds only
074Standard size—fewer than 25 pounds
075Bath size—25 to 75 pounds
076Bath sheet—75 to 100 pounds
077Family size beach towel or Army surplus blanket—more than 100 pounds
PROCEDURES
Brush the tangles and small creatures out of your dog’s coat first, clipping out intractable mats and sticky stuff such as tar or bubble gum.
Wet your dog thoroughly before applying shampoo. Work in small circles near the skin so as to avoid hair tangling. Then rinse, rinse, rinse, making sure all the soap residue comes out. Try not to get any water in the ears.
Pat your pup down well with towels, then let her air dry (but not in the yard or anywhere near dirt; it’s a well-known fact that there’s a magnetic attraction between just-washed dogs and soil). You can use a doggie dryer or a human one that doesn’t employ heat—never, ever use one that does—but unless your dog is very small you’ll be exhausted by now. Your job is done. Let nature take its course.
FREQUENCY
As needed—let your nose guide you. Monthly is fairly standard. Washing more than once a week is unhealthy—though not necessarily for your dog, if you do it correctly. Rather, too-frequent canine bathing suggests you’ve got a cleanliness fetish. Find a hobby or take your germ-phobia out on your house.
57. WHAT OTHER PARTS OF MY DOG DO I NEED TO WORRY ABOUT?
I’ve already discussed the need for dental care in Chapter 4 (see question 50). Paws and ears are also prime grooming targets.
PAWS
Not all dogs need their nails trimmed. Some file their own nails by walking or running on hard surfaces. Pups that don’t pound the pavement, however, and small breeds that don’t weigh enough to successfully self-file need pedicures. Overlong nails can get caught in carpets or clothing, or become ingrown and infected. They can also throw off a dog’s gait—which, for older pooches, can exacerbate arthritis pain.
A dog’s nails should be trimmed about once a month to just short of reaching the floor.46 It’s not a bad idea—theoretically, anyway—to combine trimming with bathing because nails are softer after being submerged in water. Of course, your dog might not want to put up with two annoying procedures on a single day.
Nail trimming is neither easy nor risk-free, especially for dogs that have black, nontransparent nails. Clip off too much and you’ll literally cut your dog to the quick—the pink, tissue part of the nail that contains nerve endings and blood vessels galore.
Clippers, which come in scissors- and guillotine-style varieties, were the most common way to trim nails until recently, when electric files came on the market. These strike me as less potentially dangerous—especially than the Marie Antoinette-model clippers—because you have to proceed slowly. On the other hand, your dog may not take kindly to being approached by a mini buzz saw.
I’m not going to go into detail about trimming your dog’s nails because I don’t want you try this on your own the first time; ask your vet or someone experienced to show you. That said, if you’re going to ignore my advice, have a styptic pencil or a Kwik-Stop powder on hand to staunch the blood flow in case you hit a vein.
But nails aren’t the only paw parts to require your attention. Don’t forget to check your pup’s footpads. Dogs often get burrs, stones, or other foreign objects caught between their toes. Carefully remove everything that doesn’t belong. Dry, cracked pads, which may be caused by walking on hot concrete, should be treated with a moisturizer (or prevented with shoes; see question 60) but not yours, because your dog will try to lick it off. Ask your vet or a pet supply store to recommend a safe one.
EARS
Floppy eared dogs and dogs that don’t shed are particularly prone to ear infections, the former because germs like to breed in the dark, moist areas created by those big flaps; the latter because hair growing in the ear canals often mixes with wax and forms unwanted earplugs. Constant pawing at the ears47 may be a sign that your dog has a health problem (or that he wants you to turn down the stereo). By the time your dog’s ears smell bad and ooze, they’re already infected and require professional care.
No matter what type of dog you have, peer into his ears at least once a week. Many preventative powders and cleaning solutions are available for breeds that are predisposed to ear problems; ask your vet for recommendations. Do not, I repeat not, stick Q-tips in your dog’s ears. Think of the damage that people manage to inflict on themselves with these swabs, and then consider that your dog won’t be able to tell you if you’ve reached down too far—or that he might suddenly turn his head, which could have the same effect. A punctured ear-drum is far worse than an ear infection.
Removing hair from a dog’s ears is not dissimilar to removing it from a human’s ears;48 plucking and trimming implements are required. As with nail-trimming, this is a procedure best left to a groomer or attempted only after you have been instructed by a professional.
ASSORTED CRUD-COLLECTING AREAS
Most dogs get a little crust in the corner of their eyes, just like we do when we get up in the morning. They can’t remove it with their paws like we can, however. I—and, if we’re being honest, many of my dog-owning friends—just pick the stuff off with our (clean) fingers, but it would be wrong for me to suggest something less than hygienic, so use a moist cotton ball. This is also the treatment for the tearstains to which many small, light-colored dogs are prone. Reddened, swollen, or itchy eyes, on the other hand, might be caused by allergies, conjunctivitis, or parasites; if the whites of your dog’s eyes aren’t, be sure to get them checked.
And—sorry, but yuck—jowly, wrinkly pooches such as Chow Chows, Bulldogs, Basset Hounds, and Shar-Peis need to have their skin folds wiped out regularly to prevent dermatitis or fungal infections. Use baby wipes or cotton swabs with hydrogen peroxide, then dust with unscented talcum powder.
58. WHAT SHOULD I LOOK FOR—AND LOOK OUT FOR—IN A GROOMER?
Anyone with a water source and a pair of clippers can put out a dog-grooming shingle in many states, no license required. But these seemingly benign professionals—after all, groomers aren’t practicing medicine, right?—can pose grave dangers to your dog.
Among the things that you should look out for:
CAGE DRYING
Similar to clothes dryers without the rotation, cage dryers are glass-fronted boxes into which your dog is enclosed and blasted with air; some units offer separate cages for more than one dog. They’re good for groomers, who can increase the volume of their business by working on other dogs while yours is drying, but not so good for the dogs, who can’t escape (and who can’t sweat; they can only pant to try to cool themselves off). If the temperature is turned up too high and your dog is left in too long, she can dehydrate and die.
As a result of several canine fatalities, a few states are trying to outlaw cage dryers.
Some reputable groomers contend that they use only the unheated fan option, even going so far as to remove the heat coil. Others say they never set the temperature above 80 degrees and never leave the room. Maybe so, but why tempt fate? At the least, these enclosures are likely to frighten the bejeezus out of your dog.
UNAUTHORIZED TRANQUILIZING
If a groomer is sufficiently gentle—and doesn’t use scary equipment—your dog shouldn’t need to be tranquilized. Some clients allow their dogs to be sedated, which is their prerogative (see later discussion), albeit one that should be used very sparingly. Some groomers, however, don’t ask—and don’t tell. That constitutes practicing medicine without a license and without permission from the patient’s guardian. If your dog is allergic to them, tranquilizers can be as dangerous as cage dryers.
OVERLONG STAYS
Imagine waiting in a doctor’s office all day with other equally stressed out patients, many of whom are yelling at each other and at the receptionist. Loud, frightening noises are coming from places that you can’t see. And oh, yes, you can’t stretch your legs or get up to go to the bathroom. Why would you want to subject your dog to that? A good groomer should stagger appointments so that your dog is worked on and available to be picked up as quickly as possible. Two hours, total, is ideal; up to half a day is reasonable. A full day—fuggedaboudit. Taking your dog to a groomer isn’t, as some owners seem to regard it, a way to get free dog sitting.
If you’re just getting your dog’s nails clipped and/or anal glands expressed, it’s reasonable to ask if you can wait; it shouldn’t take more than 10 minutes, total. I never leave Frankie at a groomer; he’s a shy little guy and it would make us both unhappy.
So how do you find a good groomer, then?
GET A REFERENCE
Ask your vet, neighbors, friends, and family members for recommendations.
TOUR THE FACILITIES
Drop in unannounced and say you’re looking for a new groomer and want to look around. If you’re not allowed into the area where the grooming is done, leave.
Things to look for while you’re checking the place out include:
078Cleanliness. Not only of the cages but also of the entire room. You don’t want your dog rolling in other dogs’ dirty, discarded hair.
079Spaciousness. Your dog should have plenty of room to move around in a cage, maybe read a few magazines, while waiting his turn to be groomed.
080Kindness. It seems like a no-brainer, but the staff should act as though they actually like dogs (yours in particular).
081Up-to-date equipment. Aside, of course, from cage dryers. Check also to see that the hand dryers don’t use heat. The latest models, geared specifically toward pet grooming, work with cool air alone.
TALK TO THE STAFF
Don’t only chat with the owner, but also with the groomer who’s likely to be working on your dog. Because a license may not be required, you can’t ask a staff member to produce one, but you can ask her about the type and length of her experience and what inspired her to choose the profession (“I just got out of the slammer and this was the only job I could get without references” is not among the correct answers). You can also ask about her grooming philosophy; she doesn’t have to quote Emmanuel Kant, only tell you how she feels about what works best for her canine charges.
In the end, trust your gut—and your dog. If you’re feeling uneasy and your usually calm, outgoing pup starts shaking and whimpering, try somewhere else.
You, in turn, have a responsibility to be honest about your dog—both with a potential groomer and with yourself. Of course you have the best dog in the world, but face it, others might (irrationally, naturally) find him intimidating. When a groomer discusses possible scenarios with you—how your dog responds to his feet being touched, for example—tell the truth. Some dogs are generally polite but go ballistic when confronted by strangers with shiny instruments. A good groomer will tell you whether or not she is equipped to handle the type of behavior you describe—or ask you if it’s okay to use tranquilizers. These should be a last recourse, and you should only use a type to which you know your pup is not sensitive. Still, if your dog is in danger of being condemned as a public health hazard, sedation might be in everyone’s best interest.
Alternatively, and even if you have a perfectly well-behaved pup, you may want to have a groomer come to you; this is an especially good option for fearful and elderly dogs (and owners). Among other benefits, it eliminates waiting, cage drying, and unobserved meanness. Mobile grooming vans are common in many cities, but they generally require a water hookup, which means they can’t service urban high-rises or even many suburban apartment complexes. If you don’t mind a temporary mess, most groomers who are willing to make house calls would also be willing to use your bathroom as a workspace, and even to clean up afterward.
59. SO SUE ME, I LIKE A FROU-FROU DOG. WILL NAIL POLISH AND THE OCCASIONAL COLOR RINSE HURT HIM?
I don’t think they’ll inflict psychological damage, if that’s what you’re asking. Many dogs love the attention they get when they’re well turned out. And they really can’t tell whether you’re laughing at them or laughing with them.
I wish I could be as certain about the health issues involved. According to some vets, fast-drying nail polish brands especially formulated for dogs are safe. Although dogs don’t bite their nails, I would definitely avoid using human varnish, which contains (even more?) toxins.49
I haven’t found any permanent hair dyes that are recommended for canine use. Plant dyes such as henna that wash out should be safe, though reddish-brown is not an especially sought-after hue. Food coloring is fine for special occasions, too. If at all practicable, however, I would suggest a hairpiece instead. Some especially designed for pups—see wigglesdogwigs. com, for example—not only come in bold colors, but allow your dog to change her hairdo with her mood.
60. WILL MY DOG HATE ME IF I DRESS HIM?
Dogs aren’t shy about letting you know if they hate you; they tend to let their teeth do the talking when they’re really upset. Dogs who are less categorically opposed but still unwilling to be clothed might squirm vigorously or run away. So if your dog allowed you to dress him in the first place, expressing only mild irritation or even approbation, you can assume you’re in the clear. Dogs don’t hold grudges in any case.
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Some purists think dogs should never be dressed, including humorist Fran Lebowitz. “If you are a dog and your owner suggests that you wear a sweater … suggest that he wear a tail,” she wrote.
I think that’s a bit harsh. Few dogs earn their keep these days. A little harmless couture modeling in exchange for room and board seems reasonable. Of course, it would also depend on the outfit and the occasion. If you’re dressing him for Santa Barbara’s annual Big Dog parade, say, your dog would be in good company, and probably enjoy the interaction with other natty canines. But itchy attire like frilly tou-tous wouldn’t be appreciated under any circumstances, a fact to which your pooch will doubtless alert you.
Functional clothing is another matter entirely.
If you have a dog, such as a Chihuahua, who’s bred in a warm climate, a light wrap for a night chill is always appropriate. And in parts of the Southwest where asphalt temperatures can rise higher than 110°F during the day, booties aren’t a fashion statement, but essential protection for sensitive footpads. Cold climate dogs also benefit from being shod. Not only do shoes keep pups from slipping on ice and from getting snow between their toes, but they serve as a buffer against the caustic products used to melt the white stuff. And sometimes clothing is dictated by work conditions. Police dogs in Dusseldorf, Germany, wear blue plastic shoes to protect their feet from the broken glass created by revelers in the city’s many pubs and caught between beer-soaked cobblestones. Why blue? To color-coordinate with the police uniforms, of course.